


My only sunshine

by Wizard_Alchemist



Category: Finder no Hyouteki | Finder Series
Genre: Angst, Death, M/M, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-08
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-22 23:28:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9629786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wizard_Alchemist/pseuds/Wizard_Alchemist
Summary: its only when the sun is gone that you miss its light and warmth.





	1. No longer whole

**Author's Note:**

> The sun went missing and everyone mourned  
> every one grieved and everyone cried  
> missing the light, bright, and cheer  
> but no one missed the sun more then the shadows  
> cause without the sun  
> where the shadows even there  
> or necessary?  
> it was dark enough on its own

At the threshold of the once grand room stood a shadowed figure, the silhouette of a once grand man. His very form spoke of the power he held the power that in the moment it was needed was useless. The room that lay before him was enormous, filled with objects that once held great meaning and worth to the one person who once dwelled within its confines, but that one person was never coming back and it seemed like the room itself knew that and vivid colors of the once enchanting room seemed dimmed and downcast. So unlike the once bright person who dwelled within.

He stood at the entrance of the room gazing with a stony expression at all it held, and all the memories that lay within its confines. Memories he could no longer bare. And feelings that were now all tinted with sorrow and grief he wanted not, why would he want for more he had enough of that on his own. Alas with his sunshine gone there was nothing chasing away the shadows, nothing to light up his world. Mind a swirl of grief and pain into which he threatened to sink with nothing to hold him aloft he couldn't help but reminisce on the past on his time in the sun with his sunshine.

Memorise full of laughter and joy and happiness he now knew naught, and would never know again. He smiled through his pain at the memories of their time together so sweet but cut so short and a tear fell quick to escape, and like that the dam broke. The once powerful man brought to his knees by the pain of having something ripped away. Sobs wrenched from the usually stoic man in a manner so befitting of his current mood. On his knees, he could do no more than hold his head and wonder despondently why, why did this happen, why him, why what did he do wrong, why why why. Grieving his lost love and their time together he could only utter one word all the while one small word that meant so much to him. 

"Akihito" 

Heart-wrenching at the thought of just his once beloved's name he wept pouring all his sorrows out. as he wept his mind turned back to the men who took his love from him and he vowed he would get revenge and he vowed he would deliver just for the wrongs done not unto him but to his sunshine who deserved so much more then he got and he would do so mercilessly. And it wouldn't be quick no it would be drawn out and painful and they would know even if it was just a fraction of the pain he felt they would know a pain so terrible even the demons trembled at the thought of it. Cause without his sunshine there was no more good in this world and by removing the sun they unleashed a darkness they would soon regret and no one would ever regret. For every great man, there is something keeping them in the light but his was gone

And after that he would join his love in the grave, what else did he have to live for without him he was incomplete broken. When all was said and done he didn't have a meaning in this world without him not anymore not after he came like a ball of wildfire into his life, so full of passion and life. Alas he couldn't help but wonder what if they never meet what if they never fell in love and he was just another person on the streets would he still be whole?

And when all he had vowed had come to pass as he looked into the abyss gun in his hand ready to end it all and join his love something stayed his hand, something warmed his heart and in that brief second he was whole, and he knew that his love his life his sunshine was with him if not in presence than in spirit and he knew he still had light in this cold world.

For what is a shadow without its sunshine.


	2. In a flash

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> just like that everything can change in a flash or more like a bang

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life is such a fleeting thing  
> here in on second gone in a flash  
> and in that flash everything can change  
> and that change is can be like a shockwave  
> affecting everyone the person touched  
> and life can change in a flash  
> or more like a bang

**AKIHITO POV ******

********

It all happened so fast, all in in a split second. It was just a second, a second, why should a life be able to change in second. Why? In just a second, it was just a second and a moment not even a full. What is time, what is time in the grand scheme of things in the major picture in the full scale of the universe what is a second what is a single moment and why does it have the power to change someones world it is only a second. and yet

**BANG ******

Just like that and he was dead. Just like that his life is over and done and he is no longer alive and it doesn't matter that he was someone's son that he was someone's baby, someone's love he was dead. Isn't it kinda ironic, life, i mean life is something so precious but can be taken so easily. for a while he was just floating waiting for something to happen anything to happen. And he floated in a void a nothing indescribable in feeling an emptiness that surrounded him. As he waited he wondered about all his friends loved ones he left behind, sad that they were lost to him forever. And then it hit him his lover he left him what would he do, how would he react oh gosh what if he did something horrible, not only to other but to himself?

In what feels like an eternity later he feels a tug soft at first the crescendoing into something more insistent, almost desperate in nature. Coming to a decision he followed them the there destination. Only to see the man he love about to kill himself, and he couldn't let that happen. Not knowing what to do he put his hand on the gun hoping to stop him to stay his hand. and in that instant he complete and he knows his love and he knows his heart. And he can leaves knowing he will be fine all on his own. with this he can rest easy, with the knowledge that his love won't be joining him before his time has come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> life is like a day  
> the sunrise so beatiful  
> the dawn of a new hope  
> a new beginning  
> a new chapter to a new life  
> and it goes through its stages in life  
> mid morning afternoon dusk  
> and the midnight  
> but unlike a day  
> life can be changed  
> life can be ended early  
> life can be cut short  
> a day cant


	3. Life goes one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> and through all the pain misery and woe life goes on

**ASAMI ******

Bn now he knew better then anyone that life goes on, that no matter what happens, no matter the obstacles thrown in one's path life keeps moving forward. That like a river life keeps flowing though it may muddy, diverge and split into streams, pool into ponds, and no matter the dam built it will find a way to keep its momentum and eventually make it to the end of the course the source that it is all derived the ocean. And he will see Akihito again if not in this life then the next and he will never let go of him again.

He also now knows that to cut his life short is not what his love would want him to do, now he would went him to keep pressing forward. He would want him to be happy and even if at the present it seems impossible for that to come to pass he will try for him for his love. 

And he would he would spend the rest of his life living his life to the fullest doing his best to honor his loves memory even if just in small ways. Finding joy and life in friends and a pet cat (a stubborn animal he affectionately named aki), he did his best. There were moments where memories and grief threatened to swallow him whole and he nearly went under, but before he ever completely lost his grip there was always a warmth that dragged him back to the surface. And he always found the strength to keep moving forward.

Alas the sun must always set, and eventually the sun of his life did but he didn't move if forward. And has he lay there dying at a ripe old age going of his own volition, he went knowing he lived a full life, all his business finished. And has his soul passed he closed his eyes one last time, and there he was his akihito has he remembered him last greeting him with open arms and a smile just for him. Like standing in the spring sun for the first time after a long winter he was whole he was warm and he felt joy unlike any he felt since this magnificent creature left him. And he was home cause home was where ever his love was, cause isn't that the saying? Home is where the heart is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and they meet again tied together as they were and this time he was never letting go because he already did that once and he would never do that again

**Author's Note:**

> first real story so helpful criticism would be apperciated


End file.
